Those of a certain vintage will remember an 80s television character by the name of Yosser Hughes, an unemployed Liverpudlian who found himself at his wits end. He’d venture onto building sites and confront foremen in belligerent manner, desperately trying to gain paid employment. His catchphrase was ‘gissajob’ (give me a job) and by the finish it was less a request than a demand. It was as tragic as it was funny and encapsulated the depths many people had reached in their desperation to find paid work.
I find myself out of work these days and, whilst not having taken a construction site boss by the scruff of the neck quite yet, must confess to a degree of desperation. We all have mouths to feed and doing so without cash isn’t easy. But I’m far from the only one and I’ve faith that continued searching will yield the desired result, either that or selecting the right 6 numbers on Saturday night’s lottery.
One thing which unemployment does afford you is time, and lots of it. Each day stretches ahead of you and needs filling with worthwhile pursuits if you aren’t to go stir crazy. The British climate doesn’t assist in this regard, outdoor activities don’t much appeal when it’s -2 and the rain’s slanting in at right angles via a 40mph wind, so I’ve taken to swimming at Stonehaven’s Leisure Centre and I’m here to encourage you to do the same. It’s an excellent experience and you’re invited to join our merry throng.
The pool is 25 metres long and separated into four lanes during the regular ‘Lane Swims’ which encourage swimmers to swim rather than splash about. There’s plenty of ‘Open Swim’ sessions too where you can just chill, tread water, splash around and chatter, but for those seeking genuine exercise it’s the lane swims which attract. I believe I’m right in saying the pool can accommodate up to 20 individuals during these sessions, the four lanes allowing space for five swimmers each but it’s not uncommon for much less than that number to attend. Sessions last for an hour and you can enter at any time during that window, indeed those arriving halfway through can benefit from more space as the early arrivals begin to vacate the pool.
Of the four lanes you have one slow, one fast and two somewhere in the middle, swimmers travelling up one side of their lane then back down the other. There’s usually enough room not to contact each other but occasional flailing limbs have been known, not least from myself. Those in the fast lane make you envious, bulleting up and down the pool like Olympians, I’ve no right to be anywhere near that lane. The slow lane is pretty pedestrian and unlikely to have you out of breath for long, and the central two lanes are somewhere beyond intermediate speed but not whirlwind-esque as they are in the outside lane.
Lane swimming is great fun. You feel you’re doing something worthwhile for both your physical and mental health, and the more regularly you come the more familiar the faces, indeed it’s become a very pleasant community of people. We’re all there to enjoy ourselves and stay fit, the camaraderie a pleasure as huffers and puffers are encouraged by fellow swimmers as we wilt together under the strain of relentless lengths.
Come down and join us, we take all shapes and sizes, ages and physiques. I’ll be the one in the middle lanes, wheezing and spluttering, complaining that I’m too old for this but in truth, loving every minute! Check the timetable via the link below and we’ll see you down there…