Stonehaven Golf Club – midweek Stableford

Having been spoiled recently with sunshine and blue skies, competitors found themselves dodging rain showers during this week’s midweek Stableford at Stonehaven Golf Club. The course was playing longer in the heavier conditions and scores suffered a little, but Joe Meanen didn’t seem to mind, spread-eagling the field of 113 players to win with 42 points. Congratulations Joe, it’s now over to the Handicap Secretary to piddle on your chips and ensure you join the ranks of also-rans next time out. Don’t fear, it’s a comfortable place to be, I’ve been plumping up cushions there for decades now.

There were only 4 NR’s (no-returns) this week, hats off then to those refusing to give up despite a veritable bombsite of a scorecard. It takes courage to allow your embarrassing score to be splashed all over the club’s results board and with this in mind, we salute in particular Keith Douglas. The two-time former club champion who had the (uncharacteristic) decency to confess to his lamentable 22 point return, an X-rated performance which I had the misfortune to witness first hand.

‘ They were lucky to get nil’ some say when their football team has been gubbed by several goals without scoring themselves. Well in this regard, Douglas was lucky to get 22 points so monstrous was his golf, a procession of sclaffs and thinners honking out the course until his coup de grace on the 17th, a full-on shank which found him negotiating his subsequent shot from chest height up by the railway line. However, and how’s this for injustice, he had the bare faced cheek to trouser prize money later that evening when fluking a 2 on the last hole.

Like many members, Douglas had chucked two quid into the ‘Twos’ Competition kitty whereby anyone scoring a 2 during their round receives a share of the proceeds. Stuart Campbell took the entire pot with a hole-in-one recently, but this week 14 players shared the booty, Douglas included. There really should be a rule against duffers like Douglas ‘amassing’ a paltry 22 Stableford points yet finding himself rewarded with hard cash instead of a wooden spoon. Perhaps a 2 must also be accompanied by 30 points or more, I’ll give it some thought and petition the committee accordingly.

To the results then, including last weekend’s Junior Medal. We’re blessed with a healthy Junior Section at Stonehaven Golf Club, both boys and girls. They’re the future of our sport and of our club and it’s encouraging to see so many around the place, they’re a credit the way they carry themselves.

Wednesday Stableford

1.       Joe Meanen – 42 points

2.       Ramsay Bell – 38 points

3.       David Bell – 38 points

9 Hole Stableford

1.       Derek Freeleand – 25 points

Junior 19 Hole Medal

1.       Jamie Sutherland – nett 56

2.       Charlie Locke – nett 65

3.       Joe Locke – nett 67