I don’t suppose the fortunes of Aston Villa FC would usually qualify as ‘local news’ here in Stonehaven but I’ve kindly been awarded temporary licence. With my favourite team winning the Europa League this week, and given I reside in Stonehaven, I’ve been allowed the opportunity to canvass for new members of the AVFC Supporters Club (Stonehaven branch). Yes this is your opportunity to be welcomed into the claret & blue fold.
Currently our branch boasts a membership of 3, namely myself and my two young sons. Admittedly these numbers are disappointing but Rome wasn’t built in a day and I’ve already identified potential new candidates. There’s a bloke up at the golf club I overheard saying he likes our kit and a chap who walks his dog down at Mineralwell whilst wearing a Villa hoodie (the chap not the dog). Then there’s my cousin Kris, a Villa fan living in Gourdon but I’m reluctant to encroach upon any potential plans he may have to start up a Gourdon & Kineff branch.
Our membership of 3 may seem somewhat underwhelming but let me tell you even that is a result. My lads are 17 & 13 and we’ve lived in the area since 2015 having moved up from Walsall. When they came home from school back then they’d question the need to support Aston Villa, claiming their friends supported ‘big’ clubs like Liverpool & Man United and why couldn’t they? Villa were in the Championship then, having been relegated from the Premier League with knobs on, stinking the division out like a piece of pure stilton. We’d been languishing in the second tier for a couple of seasons and it was getting harder to convince them that their support of Aston Villa was non-negotiable, which is precisely what it was. My Grandad supported Villa, my Dad did, I did and they and their children would too, end of story.
To be fair to them their protests didn’t last long, I think they accepted early on just how futile any opposition was, and were soon reconciled to their fate. Buoyed by their commitment, I promised them that when Villa hit the big-time again, got promoted and qualified for Europe, that I’d take them to the very first away fixture we were awarded in European competition. This took a few seasons until in 2024, Villa finally achieved European qualification and the boys licked their lips at a potential visit to AC Milan, Benfica or Marseilles. To my eternal credit, I was true to my word and did indeed honour my vow, taking them to our first European away fixture in decades….it was just a shame for them that it was two hours down the coast at Hibs’ Easter Road.
That was two years ago (we won 5-0 by the way) and Villa progressed to the semi-finals but were dumped out unceremoniously by Olympiakos. The following season we made it to the quarter finals of the Champions League before being squeezed out by PSG. At this point I thought the supporters club numbers may swell yet locals remained unmoved and our membership continued at a disappointing 3. We had a couple of promising encounters but they came to nought; one of Ernie’s mates threatened to join but decided otherwise when watching us lose 4-1 at home to Chelsea. A lady who worked in Farmfoods told me her husband supported Villa but I never got the chance to meet him and a chap at the swimming baths had a Villa tattoo (on his arm before you wonder where my eyes were roving) but was only here on holiday so didn’t qualify. My campaign at that stage appeared to have found a cul-de-sac and I’d all but given up on sourcing new members, but now my mission returns to overdrive.
If I can’t tempt the good people of Stonehaven to join the AVFC Supporters Club now we’ve won the Europa Cup I never will. I promise I’ll not look down upon you for being a glory hunter and I won’t be offended that you’re only joining because our captain is John McGinn or you just want to be associated because Prince William’s our most famous fan. And I’ve welcome pack ideas. A claret & blue Tupperware lunchbox comes to mind, or a shopping bag with McGinn’s coupon printed on both sides. Certainly there’ll be a song sheet provided, an opportunity to learn some of the Holte End’s ditties albeit it several are somewhat off colour. The one sung to the tune of ‘Walking In A Winter Wonderland’ describes an unspeakable act bestowed upon the heads of Birmingham City followers, likewise the one to the melody of ‘Roll Out The Barrel’. There’s a pleasant rhythm to the one sung to the tune of Don’t Dilly Dally but again, the lyrics offer little by way of respect to our near neighbours. Yes on second thoughts I’d best omit the song sheet and stick to tupperware.
Send your applications into The Bellman and I look forward to welcoming you at our next annual meeting which I hope to be hosting at TECA, the only place locally capable of handling the undoubted numbers. Meantime, UTV!