Anyone reading this story, should take a careful look at the date it was published – then enjoy it with a good dose of disbelief.
A STONEHAVEN man is offering his services as a hired-gun to help clear the town of seagull nuisance .
Branding himself the ‘Gull-Buster’ he says he has perfected a shooting technique that prevents the bothersome birds from nesting at inappropriate locations.
”I use a pump-action, long-range firearm with high-calibre ordnance that disrupts the birds without causing them any harm,” he said.
Herring Gulls are the biggest problem in Stonehaven. Residents are well-familiar with their rasping call and white spattered all over cars parked in the town centre.
And it appears their behaviour, as they search for a site at which to lay eggs and brood their chicks, is quite predictable.
”They are opportunistic nesters, ” he said.
”They look for somewhere accessible, safe from predators and near a food source – so anywhere with fish and chips, kebab shops or a Greig’s is perfect.”
The Gull-Busting entrepreneur said he is fully licensed with Stonehaven Town Council and uses a method tested and approved by the Seabird Assurance Society, the SAS.
”If you are a property owner with concerns, there are clear signs you will need my services.
”You will see the pair visiting the location on a regular basis, then they will start using vocalizations, and territorial behaviors before bringing in the nesting material they need, typically small sticks, dried seaweed and empty sausage roll bags.”
‘He added: ”My unique approach is one of a pre-emptive strike. You have to move them on before they have laid eggs. Once alerted to a potential nesting scenario, I load my firearm with the optimal ammunition – H-20s – then I spray the area they are trying to claim.”
Saying he has studied sniper skills and proved his accuracy on the firing ranges, he added: ”It has taken years of development, but my approach is now being recognised as the industry standard, so I want just one or two years of business, then I am going to apply to the Dragons Den, and who knows what lies ahead? The sky’s the limit!”
Caption: Happy with his efforts, the sharpshooter lays down his arms.
Previously in The Bellman and equally foolish